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I was living in New York City with a boyfriend I'll call Matt when I was diagnosed with HIV. It was my first steady, long-term relationship, and we did what I used to think of as "grown-up" things.

The infection is far from a death sentence, at least for those with access to life-saving medications.

And for many people, like my parents, a fear of gay people and HIV has been replaced with love and acceptance.

My mother said, softly, "This is the worst day of our lives.

We know now, as we knew then, that being gay doesn't foretell an HIV diagnosis.

I kept asking the nurse who took me upstairs at the Margaret Sanger Center in the East Village for a second blood test to confirm the rapid test result.

I was in shock that simply sleeping with probably close to a hundred men throughout my 20s — in college, in Rome, Italy where I lived for five years, in New York City upon my return — and not being strict about using condoms could have such a serious consequence.

Many HIV-negative men I know live and love in a seemingly blissful denial, pretending HIV isn't already enmeshed in their dating and sex lives.

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